The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence by Rachel Simmons Download (read online) free eBook (PDF ePub Kindle)

The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence

Bestselling author of Odd Girl Out, Rachel Simmons exposes the myth of the Good Girl, freeing girls from its impossible standards and encouraging them to embrace their real selves

In The Curse of the Good Girl, bestselling author Rachel Simmons argues that in lionizing the Good Girl we are teaching girls to embrace a version of selfhood that sharply curtails their power and

In The Curse of the Good Girl, bestselling author Rachel Simmons argues that in lionizing the Good Girl we are teaching girls to embrace a version of selfhood that sharply curtails their power and potential. Unerringly nice, polite, modest, and selfless, the Good Girl is a paradigm so narrowly defined that it’s unachievable. When girls inevitably fail to live up- experiencing conflicts with peers, making mistakes in the classroom or on the playing field-they are paralyzed by self-criticism, stunting the growth of vital skills and habits. Simmons traces the poisonous impact of Good Girl pressure on development and provides a strategy to reverse the tide. At once expository and prescriptive, The Curse of the Good Girl is a call to arms from a new front in female empowerment.

Looking to the stories shared by the women and girls who attend her workshops, Simmons shows that Good Girl pressure from parents, teachers, coaches, media, and peers erects a psychological glass ceiling that begins to enforce its confines in girlhood and extends across the female lifespan. The curse of the Good Girl erodes girls’ ability to know, express, and manage a complete range of feelings. It expects girls to be selfless, limiting the expression of their needs. It requires modesty, depriving the permission to articulate their strengths and goals. It diminishes assertive body language, quieting voices and weakening handshakes. It touches all areas of girls’ lives and follows many into adulthood, limiting their personal and professional potential.

Since the popularization of the Ophelia phenomenon, we have lamented the loss of self-esteem in adolescent girls, recognizing that while the doors of opportunity are open to twenty-first-century American girls, many lack the confidence to walk through them. In The Curse of the Good Girl, Simmons provides a catalog of tangible lessons in bolstering the self and silencing the curse of the Good Girl. At the core of Simmons’s radical argument is her belief that the most critical freedom we can win for our daughters is the liberty not only to listen to their inner voice but also to act on it.

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    Laura

    Mar 15, 2012

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    This is tough. It’s easy to say — “I’m okay with people not liking me.” Or “Oh, bec. I’m not a good girl, that’s why people don’t like me.” I know, bec. for the most part I don’t care what people think of me. And yet I find myself doing some of these things. Reading this book, I suddenly observed “good girl” interactions everywhere. On one occasion, I was distracted and slow to answer a question from another female. The other woman got upset and left the room. I had just met her and started thi

    Good girls give their power away to keep the peace. Reading the book, I kept thinking – what’s the solution? And the simple conclusion seems to be – don’t give your power away. And yet, I think there can be real consequences. We all know girls can shun an uncooperative girl. But it’s more than that piece. There are real consequences for speaking your voice – take the Heidi/Howard Roizen example. The same business case study was given to students only the names were changed. More students liked Howard and wanted to work for him. Students of both genders were harsher in their perception of Heidi. Not so likable and more importantly less likely to be hired.
    http://changetheratio.tumblr.com/post…

    Without practice – women aren’t that good at speaking their voice. Not caring what other people think of you is a lot different than staying true to your voice.

    While women continue to excel in school, we are not breaking the glass ceiling at the workplace.

    Simmons presentation is difficult for me – bec. her presentation made things black and white. And every good girl knows how to play the grey. And even in her black and white delivery, she seems to miss discussing the real consequences and then how to address them. The book provides many examples of Good Girls. Once it’s pointed out, it’s all too easy to see.
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